The dark arts of copywriting

Marketing has always been a dark murky world. It thrives on collecting information about you so it can effectively force you to part with your hard earned cash in exchange for dross you don't need. And thanks to the internet, it knows everything about you - from your location to your personality.

Don't assume, marketers and by default, copywriters don't use the dark arts to change your behaviour.

This is the most powerful tool in a copywriter's utility belt. If you stir any kind of emotion in someone, you're onto a winner. So look for that emotional hook.

For example, buying home insurance is dull and we part with money every year in case something happens. John Lewis didn't look at it from the boring life admin, we've got award winning cover, we'll ensure everything angle, they went for the jugular - insure the things that matter, your memories.

Vodafone's short-lived but superb Live Life on 4G ad was a palpable battle cry for people to just do it (I've mixed my slogans). It was cool, fast-moving, modern and motivational. It made you leap from the bottom-indent on your sofa and take up Muay Thai boxing or do that bungee jump you keep talking about.

All enabled by that wonderful, life-changing technology we all carry around in our pockets that would be nothing without the network that serves it. And because we've all had that 'OMG, no phone' feeling, that seems to put your whole life on hold. So there it is, the emotional hook.

Everything we copywriters do must be led by empathy. If you don't understand your customer's life and problems, you'll create content that falls flat. So there are the basics.

• Leading with the benefit is every copywriter's mantra. But it stems from psychology. We're not selling you a product, we're selling you a solution to your problem or a lifestyle.
• Digital equity you see in the form of content marketing is there to boost SEO, so when you search something innocently, like 'how to sweep my chimney', you'll get an article from Npower about open fires in your home - without realising it, this useful bit of info has served its marketing purpose. 
• Building relevance for your products/problems, so they're at front of mind and create demand.
• Social conscious is a hot topic at the moment, it could excel in the form of child safety advice in the Ariel liquatabs advert or fail spectacularly in Pepsi's take on the Black Lives Matter movement.

• Tone of voice means you're having a one-to-one conversation with customers in a chatty, friendly and clear way - making you trust them more and give you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
• CTAs tell you what to expect or be suitably ambiguous to trick you into doing something.
• Customer services with a cheery disposition and can-do manner will make you happy, even if they don't fix your problem.
• Good UX will always win the day, if a journey is clear and seamless without any annoying red error messages or cumbersome processes, you're onto a winner
• Service design means finding things where you expect them to be. Having great imagery and branding is one thing, but if it hides the CTA or it's not intuitive, it's a waste of time.

Now onto the really dark stuff...

There are little tricks copywriters use to make you behave in certain ways.

• Urgency - all the 'hurry, offer ends' and 'quick, while stocks last' are all there to stop you dithering and punch in those credit card details.
• FOMO - this when brands boast about how many satisfied customers they have, nothing screams FOMO more than, 'don't miss out' or 'millions of people are doing it, why aren't you'.
• Certification - that little bit of relief when you see the acronyms FCA or ABTA. And the assurance of Which? recommendation or Defaqto recognised.
• Exclusivity - being part of a club or in the know about something that isn't common knowledge is a sure-fire way to get people to convert, you don't seriously believe Secret Escapes is only known to you, do you?

You, as a punter, probably don't realise that we understand how your hippocampus and amygdala work. And that we use this knowledge to change your behaviour.

These are broken down into systems:

System 1

It's about the long fancy, science words I just used. These parts of the brain control memories, affinity, intuition, suggestibility and your subconscious.

It's stimulated through music, stories, human interaction and emotion, suspense/drama and the senses.

System 2

Is the rational you who makes decisions, is suspicious, questions and challenges things. This is the conscious and considered behaviour.

This comes into play when anything looks like selling or lying. A habit of liars is too many facts and over exactness, so you need to stay away from numbers or elaborate stories. As well as hyperbole, comparisons, price points and excuses/explanations.

It's the most powerful part of the brain.Think about it; if you've seen this really expensive leather jacket you don't really need, but it reminds you of your favourite aunt or appeals to your self-image. It doesn't matter that you can't afford or need it; you'll tell yourself that cost-per-wear, it's actually quite cheap and your other coats wouldn't be suitable the predicted Big Freeze this year. All of a sudden, you've over-ridden the rational part of your brain.

Some people fear the dark arts. For me, it's my favourite part of copywriting (and no, not because I'm a budding amateur psychologist). And something the real Mad Men, like George Lois, David Ogilvy and William Bernbach have been doing since the dawn of consumerism.

You didn't need Aperol in your life before it became a hipster status symbol. You didn't care about Nandos until UK grime artists starting singing about it. You thought Blair Witch Project was a documentary until you went to see at the cinema. I bet you hadn't heard of Bavaria beer until it ambushed a football match. And you probably didn't even want to vote for Donald Trump until Facebook served up some content that appealed to your personality algorithms... Although that's more to do with the witchcraft of data...